Dear Benton,

I am writing this letter to tell you my personal goals for this year is to lose weight. This is a good goal for me because I am unhappy with my size and weight. Another goal Ihave this year is my social goal, I want to strengthen my existing friendships and build new ones. The third of my goals this year is my academic goal. My academic goal is to generally do well in school. My fourth and final goal is to succeed in my competitive soccer team. This is an athletic goal because it has to do with a sports team.

Sicerely, Benton (freshman benton) XD

Arizona

We have arrived in the barren Sonoran Desert and The Valley of the Sun. Arizona is very exciting in its prospect for intrigue and adventure. This move (being our ninth) was somewhat easier then the last eight. This surprises me because last year's move was the journey back to the town of my birth. Back to the adventure, orientation for my new High School was last Thursday and I re-met lots of people I previously knew from Junior High. I met new people too of course but it was extremely over-powering when people who had once ridiculed me for my nationality strolled up and greeted me as though we were the best-of-pals. I tried to ignore such fallacious behaviour but sometimes others would look to me expectantly and I would curtly respond. Some of these instances were depressing to say the least. Living with the our friends has helped tremendously. My friend and I have gone to parties and social get-togethers in an effort to get me "well-connected". In essence, I want to be able to say, "I know a guy" with a wink. is that creepy?

For the last three days my brother and I have been sanding various pieces of furniture including a pair of stools each and a collapsible table for the both of us. We sanded non-stop for three hours each day with our little electric sanders. The furniture was due for a colour change so we sanded the varnish of and plan to stain to match our china cabinet.

St. Jacobs

Yesterday my family and I went to St. Jacobs market for the day. We had lots of fun and bought such novelties as Ice cream sandwiches and deep-fried Mars bars..... (not). We went to the auction room and saw loads of cattle and calfs. We also indulged ourselves in the Lego store as well as the China shop, (I wasn't alowed in that one). Our mums bought stacks of vegetables including radishes, potatoes, carrots and other munchies. Having lived in a desert for nigh on six years, we were experts at staying hydrated. We must have drank at least three bottles each!

We had loads of fun at the market and it made for a very good day.

Six days ago, my family and I made the journey to Ganonoque for our Summer vacation. We went camping at the Ivy Lea campsite right on the St. Lawrence. We stayed for five long days out in the wilderness. My brother and I were delighted to find a teatherball court on the playground and played with it innumerous times. I usually won but we had great fun all the same. The use of water guns also occupied a great deal of our time along with other activities such as swimming, fire making, and reading in our small tent. All in all, we had a great time on vacation and we hope to return to Ivy Lea in the near future.

The Final Day of Great

TOP 10 FUZZY ANIMALS OF 2010

#10 Little Blue Fairy Penguin

#9 Tiger cubs

#8 Kittens

#7Arctic Fox

#6 Red Panda

#5 Leopard seal pups

#4 The Raccoon

#3 The Beaver

#2 Lynx

#1 !!PUFFLES!!

Corrected Blog entry

Wah Wah, I wake up crying saying, "Mommy I don't want to go to school!" My evil Mommy picked me up and threw me into my clothes. When she dragged me down the stairs, I smelled my favourite breakfast...... pancakes with maple syrup. After breakfast I hugged my Mommy then she gave me a peanut butter sandwich. Then I got really mad again. Then I needed to go to the washroom really badly. So I ran to the the bathroom but by the time I got there it came out all over the floor. Mommy got really mad and shouted at me like an evil witch. By the time I got to school I was five minutes late. When me and my Mommy got to the room I got scared because everybody was looking at me. The teacher came up to me and said " hello my name is Mrs.Green", I laughed because she was fat. As the day went on I beat everybody in arm wrestling. Then lunch came and I found that Mommy gave me chocolate chip cookies, this made me really happy but a big old meanie came over and ate them. I was really mad and sad. Then I asked my best friend Joey who he was and Joey said, " he is the strongest kindergarten student." Then I made a plan to table top him. When the end of the day came I was the most popular kindergartner in the school.
THE END.

my sad day

today i had the worst day. i had to go to school. my mom took me in dada's fast car. it is my best car because it is red and is really fast and....well that was it. so that was okay, but then we got to school and it was bad because mama left and i was alone and there were lots of old girls who kept confusing me about a thing called "letters". but i remembered one of them. "A" . Mom says thats really good for my first day. at school i have to feed myself with the food bag mom gave me. a girl stole my brownie though, i hate that girl. after snack we had "nap time" we just sleep. i woke up when a loud noise came from a hole in the wall. then we went home and mom says that girl likes me, my face got all red and hot. i hate that red a lot and it makes me sad because red is my favorite colour, i cryed. mama syas thats called "embarassmant", i don't like embarassment but at least red is okay, i stop crying.

Blory #4

Once in the land of Land, there lived a very romantic and lovey-dovey prince whose name was Softie. He had never played sports or done any manly things, he wore make-up and his bedroom was painted pink. His favorite animals were Unicorns and his favorite colour was pink. Anyway, one day there was a knock on the castle door, (they were too poor to afford a draw-bridge), and in walked a Heathen prince from the Nordic Isles. "I have come to challenge your honor"! He cried, and the Prince promptly wet himself. After the prince had changed his pants, the two Princes fought to the death. Eventually the Nord tripped on a rock and impailled himself on a sapling and the Prince lived happily ever after.

A Box of Socks by William Knox

In the town of Snocks in the region of Spocks the people are usually awoken by clocks. But on the third day of Crocks, (a holiday in Snocks), the people were awoken by thousands of knocks. Knocks not clocks woke the people of Snocks. Knocks on door and knocks on the docks woke the men and women and children of Snocks. When all of the Snocks had heard the knocks, all their doors they did open to find a large box. A box for each Snock and a box for each knock as they opened the door on the third day of Crocks. The boxes were opened by the Snockses that day. They opened the boxes and the Snockses hoorayed! In the boxes the Snockses found three other boxes. You are wondering now why the Snockses hoorayed!?! Because in the region of Spockses there was a shortage of boxes.

Race to Mars: a futuristic compilation of fiction written by Alonso Mercredi

Our story takes place shortly after World War Three which includes the destruction of all 1st world countries. It is a long story so here is the gist of it. America, who was crippled by its need for oil as well as its undying infatuation with automobiles, declared war on Canada, who had found huge oil reserves in newly acquired Alaska. This brought the whole weight of the English Commonwealth, (minus Australia who chose to side with The States), on top of the Americans heads. Quite literally in fact, as the war soon turned nuclear. Russian and Asiatic countries were soon dragged into the mix causing more and more confusion. Although there were many interesting facts about this war, (such as the Dakotan and Minnesotan silos refusing to fire at their neighbors to the North), the most outlandish would have to be the fact that the entire war, including the South American skirmishes, were well over in the span of 7 days. At this point in time Both North American and Soviet , (Russia is now a region in northern Asia split into mini states all under the NUSSR New United Soviet Socialists Republic) had established bases on the moon and surrounding asteroids, (such asteroids were left over from the explosion of Venus, 37 years prior to the war), and were planning to launch "Mars Landers" within the next decade. It seems folly to put all this effort forth just to be able to say that their country had the first man on Mars when the Earth was in such a state, but the countries, (Zimbabwe, Egypt, Kazakhstan, and Lithuania) were not even planning to man these landers because in 2032, America, (in partnership with Australia), sent an unmanned probe to Mars. It was a routine mission and was programmed to take simple soil samples on Mars' Polar icecap. The probe found that the polar ice only went 2.5 centimeters into the ground after wich started an immense cavity of oil, thrice the size of New York city. The purpose of the race to Mars was for oil and nothing else.

The Parisian Incident: A Novel by Fernando Vendredi

It was a dark and stormy evening in the French capital and some of the less adventurous tourists were running for cover and hailing cabs. None of them suspected they were being watched. One does not ponder such things in heavy rain, especially not in the romance capital of the world. Prowlers do not hunt the streets of Paris, the tourists think, Paris is a dream of a city that cannot in any stretch of the human mind be associated with crime. Little did they know, however, that were being watched. Or perhaps, scanned, is a more relevant word. Yes, the chaotic crowd was being scanned. The prowler was looking for something. A face seems the most likely object of his search. Suddenly, from the dark alley in which he hid, a terrifying and yet slightly curious thing happened. Just as the last tourist had rounded a corner, the prowler's eyes lit up. A man, dressed in warm clothing, walked right passed the prowler. The hunt was on. The shady figure rose from his crouch, stealthy as panther, and began to silently stalk his prey. His movements were cat-like in execution but also strangely cautious, as if he was afraid his quarry would turn and attack at any moment. This behavior is not the norm for such "criminals" and so the general understanding of this man's motives change exponentially. Mentally, he systematically assesses his prey. Slight bulge on left side. Probably a firearm, most likely a 45mm. Glock by the size and shape. So, what is an American made gun doing in Paris? Also, a piece of paper (envelope ?) pokes out of his coat pocket. Beads of rain water are collected on his jacket, suggesting a water-proof material. He also wears black leather gloves. All this is processed in his mind in the time it takes to snap your fingers. He silently pulls a small dagger from his belt and quickens his pace. He pulls a small white hankerchief out of his shirt pocket, and, as he walks up behind the man, slips it over his victim's mouth to muffle the scream as he slips the dagger expertly in between the ribs, right through the center of his heart. Before a drop of blood could be spilled on the emaculate Parisian sidewalk, the assassin has dragged the lifeless form into a dumpster, but not before taking the envelope and gun out of his coat pocket. The whole incident takes about 15 seconds. As the man's dark figure slowly walks of into the distance we here the almost unintelligible sound of singing coming from the bar across the street.

WOW

Dear user,

We are sorry to inform you that our WOW servers have all just been hacked. I know what you're thinking, "this is just some joke that Iain is playing again" but saddly, it's true. We thought our servers were generally unhackable but not everything is perfect. On the upside, no cash refunds!!! MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! We are disappointed that the game has come to an end but you can still buy the t-shirts and if you already own like 50 (freak) their value just went up 50,0000%. so have fun with that. Oh, and the hacker himself wrote a book on how he hacked it so you can teach your sister to hack Webkinz or something.

Sincerely,

those guys that own WOW

Dear McDonald's,
I would like to make a complaint. My burger yesterday was ice cold and my drink was the opposite. Besides the temperature, it also tasted like fish. If I wanted fish I would have bought fish. If this problem continues I will have no choice but to go to Wendy's instead.

Dear Toronto,
In the past couple of years you have done nothing but intentionally belittle me in front of the other cities. You have made me the laughing stock of the GTA. I have received nothing from you but a cold shoulder and maybe, if I'm lucky, a snide remark. This feud between us must end. So I will be the bigger city (excuse the expression) and ask you to be my friend.

Sincerely yours, Oakville